Youth Power

Author: doctor of psychology Dijana Ivanišević

We did not choose this isolation ourselves. We also did not choose not to be able to walk in this wonderful, sunny weather. This is not a scheduled spring break which we usually cannot wait to go on and finally have a rest from getting up early, taking a lot of classes, studying and tests. This isolation did not ask us when it should start or end. Because it was not our choice, it cannot be easy. It is natural that people in all developmental stages are taking it hard. We lost our routine. Whether it was good or bad, we were used to our routine and then everything had to change overnight. We lost something else, which for young people might be more important than anything. We lost the feeling of freedom, control and predictability of our everyday life which made our lives easier and helped us cope as best as we could with our hectic way of life, with the contant lack of time and with the stress brought upon by our many educational and extracurricular activities. 

            Anyway, it is evident that “life in the time of corona“ carries with it great threats to the physical and mental health of all of us. Still, things are not all bad. We know that, in every bad or negative situation, there is something good and positive if we make an effort to see the big picture, better consider the entire situation and find some positive aspect, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant it might be. Also, the good news is is that we always have a choice, can take action and can also count on someone’s support because, as hopeless and desperate as things might seem, there is always a solution. We are not alone. We are not helpless either unless we choose to be helpless ourselves because, whatever befalls us, we have the possibility to get out of that situation.

            Accordingly, what is it that we can do to preserve or even improve our mental health despite the fact that we are now in a very trying and stressful time? Several pieces of advice and (self)help guidelines follow.

• 1. Stop searching for and collecting endless amounts of information and news about the virus. It is good to be informed on the situation but, at the same time, one must know that too much information searching makes us feel passive and paralyzed, instead of being ready for action. Therefore, if you already have not done so, you should censor your information channels and choose to listen to only verified sources whom you can trust. You should resist the need to frequently check up on the number of the newly infected and the current situation. Also, you should remember it is okay to be informed and concerned to a „healthy“ degree because only from that position can we act and do everything that is within our power. For instance, we can respect orders and recommendations from the authorities and thereby be responsible and protect ourselves and others and prevent spreading of the disease. However, it is not okay to be too informed and too concerned because we cannot do anything constructive from that position. That way we cannot make any progress because we are caught in a vicious circle of (dis)information and feel disoriented and helpless, which is the last thing we need now. Therefore, choose you information sources wisely and stay informed but not too concerned, so that you can do something constructive and make at least one step towards bringing an end to this unpleasant and restrictive situation. 
• 2 .It is necessary to accept and try to adapt to the current situation as soon as possible because that will make it easier for us to „survive“ it in a calm manner, all the while repeating to ourselves that this too shall pass. Everything comes and goes and so will this situation. With all our capabilities and resources which we ourselves often forget, we will manage to pull through and stay strong and healthy, despite everything.
• 3. It is useful to live day by day and take one step at a time, without big plans. We should live “here and now“ as much as possible and plan for the future.
• 4. Isolation has suddenly reduced our obligations and given us almost all the time in the world. As tempting as it might seem at first, this new situation is not easy to handle, but it is not impossible either. Therefore it is very important to try to create a new daily routine, by planning and designing your time for work and studying through online platforms, as well as your downtime, so as to regain your feeling of stability and security as soon as possible. It is also necessary to accept that, no matter how much we would want to, we cannot control everything, as proven by this situation.
• 5. Self-isolation gives you more time to “work on yourself“. Make the best of of this fact and ask yourself: Which aspects of your life have you wanted to change for a long time but have been putting it off because of time constraints? Which new skills do you want to learn? What is it that you can do from home, by using different online platforms? Which quality channels can you follow in order to learn something new and try to implement it in the following days? What new positive habits related to working on yourself do you wish to acquire? Maybe you can finally try yoga or meditation, visualisation or focusing on the positive, better regulation of your emotions or more gratitude? Or you can occupy yourself with spiritual growth and development and dedicate more time and attention to spiritual practices. Usual excuses such as “I don’t have enough time or money“ or “I will start from Monday“ do not exist any more. Neither do the limitations, which means that the choice is only yours now.
• 6. Make the best of your time – educate yourself. Try to get involved in concrete activities because such activities give us a feeling of stability and help us feel useful. Therefore, take advantage of the current availability of different online education courses – foreign languages, computer skills and others, some of which are now free of charge, while others are much cheaper than they were before. Try to transform as many negative aspects into positive ones, and one of the ways to get something good and useful out of this realistically bad situation is to try and invest your time and effort in yourself and your knowledge. 
• 7. This free time, which you neither wanted nor expected, can be made interesting by including some physical activities in your daily routine. It is well known that any form of physical activity has a positive effect on your physical and mental health. The choice of the right activity is yours alone. It can be any activity you can do at home which appeals to you and makes you feel good. Also, you can pass the time by reading books which have been collecting dust at the shelves of your cabinet waiting to finally be read, or you can listen to music you used to like but have not listened to for a long time, or by listening to new music for which you have not had time. There are many possibilities, and it is up to you to experiment and recognize what suits you the best and helps you feel calmer and better in this difficult time. Once you recognize which activity it is, do not leave it at that but try to make it an indispensable part of your new everyday life. 
• 8. Schedule an online coffee or tea with your friends every day at a convenient time. Get connected through an application, start a group chat or a video call and have a coffee or tea together. Everything is easier and nicer together. Also, if you see that somebody is having a worse time than you and people around you, try to be there for them and be supportive, although you are not with that person at the moment. Try to listen to them actively and provide encouragement so they can get through these changes and recover from the new situation. Bear in mind that, if you make a genuine effort to help somebody, you are actually helping yourself at the same time. That means it is worth it. You can also ask yourself which people you have grown apart from and stopped communicating with due to too many obligations and too little time and whom you miss. Now is the right time to get in touch with them in the virtual world, until your first new “live“ encounter.
• 9. This self-isolation has given us too much time for thinking about ourselves and our life and for examination of our personal values, positions, convictions and habits. Therefore stop whatever you are doing right now and ask yourself several simple, yet very important questions: Whom do you want to have in your life? Who was important to you “before Corona“ and will most likely be important “after Corona“? To whom do you need to dedicate more? What relationships do you have to make an effort about? What do you want to achieve in life and what do you have? How big is the harmony or disharmony between the two? What steps can you take to get at least one step closer to your goals? What kind of plan can you make and what concrete step can you take? What are you focused on and where does your energy go? And probably the most important thing – what do you choose to change? What skills should you learn? What bad habits should you get rid of? What, despite the current circumstances, can you do right now and right here? Ask yourself these questions, give honest answers and slowly start the transformation, one step at a time, because that is the only way it can be done.
• 10. Before going to sleep, do a review of your day in your head and choose the following: at least one thing that was a little better than everything else that happened, one activity you completed successfully and one fact you have reason to be grateful about. Just take note of that and go to sleep. You will sleep better and get up well rested and satisfied because this exercise stimulates positive feelings of happiness and gratitude.

• 11. Visualise each coming day. Sit or lie down, relax and close your eyes. Let your day be exactly as you want it to be. Imagine all the nice things you want to do, read, see or listen to the following day. What you want to make for lunch or desert and whom you want to get in touch with. Experience those nice feelings as best as you can and try to feel as if everything is already real. That will make everything easier to really come to pass.
• 12. Although most of us are sad because our living circumstances have suddenly changed, we can try to change that fact at least a little. One way is to start paying more attention to “little things“ we all take or have so far been taking “for granted“. Therefore you should become as aware as possible of every experience and every activity. Become immersed into “here and now“ no matter what you are doing. Pay a lot of attention to the warm sun and clear, blue sky, a beautifil flower, trees or birds singing that you can see or hear from your window or balcony. Enjoy more than before every meal, fruit or candy, coffe or tea, your favorite part of your apartment of backyard, if you are lucky enough to have one. Pay attention to and begin appreciating all these things, starting today.
• 13. Make your “Gratitude list“ of all the things you had reasons to be grateful for “before Corona“ and return to that list “after Corona“. Read it from time to time because that will help you shift your focus on what is positive and feel the cozy warmth of gratitude, which will in turn create more gratitude and other positive emotions and momentarily make you feel better, no matter how hard and bad things might be.
• 14. Accept all your states, emotions and moods no matter how unpleasant or painful they might be. Sit with them in silence and listen to what they are trying to tell you and what kind of message they are trying to send you. However, also be prepared to let them go. Try to release them through exercises involving deep, abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation or guided meditation. If for some reason they do not want to go away, share them with someone you trust or find your own way to make them leave.
• 15. There is no such thing as a normal reaction to an abnormal situation, and this situation is abnormal. So remember it is quite all right to be angry, frustrated, scared, disappointed or sad because this situation has surprised us and caught us off guard and, in a manner of speaking, made us frustrated and angry, scared or sad. We have all lost or given up something, such as wishes and goals which had to be forgotten until such time as this is over. We all had to give up beautiful, cozy spring or at least a part of it. We all lost something., most of us temporarily, but some of us permanently, unfortunately. However, we have probably gained something as well, but right now and from this perspective it is hard to see what that is. If nothing else, there is a great possibility offered by every crysis and that is the opportunity and the chance to have something big and new, to have new us, hopefully much more flexible, mature, more ready and open to love, kindness, empathy, altruism, cooperation and help. And maybe that is exactly what we have been missing.
• 16. Think about how you can help somebody and what you can do for somebody from this position. Whom can you make feel happy and in what way? How can you make your contribution? Helping other people stimulates positive emotions and spreads positive energy, which all of us really need now. It also gives a meaning and a purpose to everything and makes you feel better instantly.
• 17. There is no right way to behave or feel right now. Therefore it is quite all right if you have no desire or motivation to do your room, organize your closet for the tenth time, “work on yourself“, learn foreign languages, take an online training course or read self-help books. Therefore give yourself a break, listen to your needs and do what you feel like doing right now – watch tv, listen to music or just go to bed because there is a great chance you will feel better already in the morning. Accept all your emotions and be in constant touch with them. If they are too intense, overwhealming or if they last too long and you do not know what to do and how to face them and make them go away, seek help from your family or friends. If for some reason that does not work, feel free to seek professional help. There is really no shame in that any more.
• 18. Take care of yourself and be gentle to yourself. Pay attention to what kind of food you eat during isolation and whether you drink enough water and hydrate your body. Make sure you do not eat too much candy or snacks to feel better. That only works in the short run and makes you overweight, unhappy and feeling guilty in the long run, which is something you can definitely do without right now.
• 19. Something else is of vital importance – love yourself, despite everybody and everything. Say that to yourself every day loud and clear. Even if you do not feel it at the moment but want to start feeling it, say it and believe it to be true now and at all times. Say to yourself: I love you just as you are, despite … (add something you do not like about yourself at that moment, whether it is something about your outward appearance, some negative trait or emotion, inappropriate behavior or action). Because all of that is you and you are wondeful just the way you are because you are unique, special and different from anybody else in the world. Be love, live love and spread love always despite everything. Love yourself and the world around yourself because love heals, moves and changes everything at every level. It gives us everything we need now, doesn’t it? Think about it and put it into action. Heal youself with that love, change yourself and get moving, thereby stimulating others around you to do the same. Because if you can do it so can they if they really want to and have the courage to persist on the path of change. The good thing is that it all starts by wanting something.
• 20. Be the change you want to see in the “world after Corona“. Forget your fear, put it aside and let your brain remember good outcomes from the past and fantasize about good outcomes in the future. Your thinking and expectation of positive outcomes will be a positive example for others. Find reasons for happiness and optimism despite everything and try to spread your positive attitude to others in your immediate and extended family, in your town or even in your state. Because we are all in this together and have exactly the same goal. We only want all of this to be over and we want all of us to be well. For this purpose, try to set aside only five minutes every day and visualize the best possible outcomes for yourself and for others hapenning within the shortest time frame. In this very simple way you can “start and accelerate change“ and make it possible for the change to manifest itself. A lot of different people in a lot of different places, unified by the same desire and the same goal, represent a big amount of positive kinetic energy which, if directed in the right way, can facilitate positive changes at both the global and the individual levels and help the process of healing of our planet and all of us. So, invite your family and friends to join you in this “challenge in achieving positive changes and individual and collective healing“ because, by doing the visualisation every day, you can help yourself stay calm, positive, strong and stable even “in the time of Corona“ and feel or revive the joy of life again. It’s worth a shot! Why not…